Chapter two

It has been almost two months since I returned home from the UK. Having finished my studies, its good to be home. Ever since then I had been caught up with job hunting, family camp, catching up with friends and family, cleaning my "4 years abandoned" room and lots of resting at home.

Looking back, I have been studying in different places at every stage of my education life: from kajang to KL to Mantin to UK. Now that I have finally returned home for good, it feels like a whole new start all over again. As for now, I am going to start working soon, and somehow it makes me realise how time has passed and how faithful the Lord has been to me all these years. I am thankful... really.

Before stepping into this new phase of my life, my only hope is that the Lord will guide my path in each step I take, so that although the future is unknown, at least I will have the assurance that the path taken is one without regrets and that the one who carried me so far will deliver me through the years to come.

The Hammer Holds

A shapeless piece of steel, that's all I claim to be
This hammer pounds to give me form, this flame, it melts my dreams
I glow with fire and fury, as I'm twisted like a vine
My final shape, my final form I'm sure I'm bound to find

So dream a little, dream for me in hopes that I'll remain
And cry a little, cry for me so I can bear the flames
And hurt a little, hurt for me my future is untold
But my dreams are not the issue here, for they, the hammer holds

And the water, it cools me gray, and the hurt's subdued somehow
I have my shape, this sharpened point, what is my purpose now?
And the question still remains, what am I to be?
Perhaps some perfect piece of art displayed for all to see

So dream a little, dream for me in hopes that I'll remain
And cry a little, cry for me so I can bear the flames
And hurt a little, hurt for me my future is untold
But my dreams are not the issue here, for they, the hammer holds

The hammer pounds again, but flames I do not feel
This force that drives me, helplessly, through flesh, and wood reveals
A burn that burns much deeper, it's more than I can stand
The reason for my life was to take the life of a guiltless man

So dream a little, dream for me in hopes that I'll remain
And cry a little, cry for me so I can bear the pain
And hurt a little, hurt for me, my future is so bold
But my dreams are not the issue here, for they, the hammer holds

This task before me may seem unclear
But it, my maker holds

-Bebo Norman

Choice Gleanings: Monday - May 21st

John 12:24 Except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone: but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit.

“One grain of wheat!” That is what my life may amount to–completely insignificant in this world of millions of hungry people. But it could be different! Hand that life over to the Lord Jesus Christ. Abandon my own ambitions and make it my life’s work to live only for Him and His plan for me, and He will cause my life to produce “much grain” to spiritually feed those dying without a Saviour. —David Croudace

There’s surely somewhere a lowly place in earth’s harvest fields so wide, Where I may labour through life’s short day for Jesus the crucified. So trusting my all unto Thy care, I know Thou lovest me! I’ll do Thy will with a heart sincere, I’ll be what You want me to be! —C. H. G.

Bells of testimony

The golden bells that adorn the robe of the high priest suggests testimony... Christ bore testimony upon the earth to the things of the Father..

My meat is to do the will of Him that sent me

(John 4:34)

"Believers bear testimony of one kind or the other. We cannot bear good testimony to the things of God in our own strength. Testimony to the salvation and truth into which we have been brought is only possible by the power of the indwelling Spirit. His desire is to work upon our lives, individually and corporately, producing harmonious melody to the Lord and blessing to those around us." - Cyril Cann

Is my testimony hidden? Is it veiled in by troubles and sin? Has it been kept from the sight of others out of selfishness? Can people hear the heartbeat of this testimony that should be beating for those in need? Have I surrendered to the one who I know is the Lord of my life? What testimony am I bearing? ... so the believer asks.

I can't even tie His shoes

I was reading an online issue of CCM magazine talking about how christian music artists deal with the fact that being in the limelight becomes a struggle when they realise what is the point of all of it when being popular shadows the purpose of the glorifying God.

At the end of the article, I read a short passage that Chris Tomlin shared when he had his first photo shoot:

On the flight to his first photo shoot, Chris remembers opening a letter from Passion founder Louie Giglio and, to this day meditating on the words he read. WHile Louie acknowledged the star treatment Chris was about to experience for the first time, he encouraged him to "think about John the Baptist all day,"

"Everyone was coming to John the Baptist in John and saying, 'You're it. You're the deal...You're getting quite popular here.' And he responded, 'I am not... there's One that's coming, I can't even tie His shoes. That's the One you need to go to. And when you see Him, you're going to know that He must increase and I must decrease,'" Louie's letter continued," And as they're taking your pictures today, I just want you to hold that in your heart...' you don't even tie this guy's shoes,' I've never forgotten it," Chris says.

Not all of us have or ever will have star treatment in our lifetime. However, the fact that pride is just at our doorstep knocking is a good enough reason for us to always keep guard and remind ourselves that we are but a creation of someone much greater than ourselves. The Lord Jesus alone deserves glory... for whose shoe's latchet I am not worthy to unloose (John 1:27 - KJV).

I am not sure which "guy" Louie was refering to when he reminded Chris of the passage in John. The way I see it, I may not be able to even tie the shoes of John the Baptist, let alone the One whose feet like unto fine brass as if they were burned in a furnace (Rev 1:15 - KJV). Maybe instead of standing tall and keeping our heads so high up all the time, it might do us good if we learn to fall before the the feet of Christ more often, reminding us that maintaining a facade of self-sufficiency is useless when we come before the one whose shoes we are not even worthy to untie.

Only the redeemed

1 Peter 1:12 : Unto whom it was revealed, that not unto themselves, but unto us they did minister the things, which are now reported unto you by them that have preached the gospel unto you with the Holy Ghost sent down from heaven; which things the angels desire to look into.

I have been considering the amazing privilege that we believers have on angels. They may have been with the Lord throughout the creation of mankind, but one thing we have is the experience of salvation, which even angels long to know about.

As a song puts it:

"...And I have watched the blinding of grace
Come breaking through with a sweetness
Only tasted by the forgiven and redeemed

And someday I'll sit down with my angel friends up in Heaven
They'll tell me about creation
And I'll tell them a story of grace..."

I can only imagine how that conversation will be like with the angels when we discuss God's marvelous work. It will be one long conversation with lots of stories to tell... stories that will take eternity to tell.

Music to my ears

I was listening to a cd entitled GLORY REVEALED - The word of God in worship. Beautiful songs combining the words of the scriptures with rootsy American music. As I was listening, I started to think why do I like christian songs so much? I mean I like other songs as well, I listen to other Chinese and English songs, but none of them are christian music. It is like whenever I am feeling sad, happy or any other occassion, the songs of my preference will always be christian songs.

Apart from the obvious - that I am a christian and therefore it seems normal for me to have preference on christian songs. I think what I am getting at is that the reason christian songs will always be my favourite is because there is one major theme within those songs, that is they all focus on the Lord Himself, and that is what makes them so different and special.

Everyone has a songwriter somewhere hidden in themselves. In one way or another, all of us are able to come up with a song of two of our own. However, no matter how beautiful our songs may be, none can be compared with the songs written out of love and reverence to the Lord God Almighty. I believe when God created us, He made us all songwriters. Songwriters that write songs of worship in our hearts. It is when we realise we are made to worship our creator, that is when the world's most beautiful songs are written.

What I really want to say

It has been ages since I have blogged. I just don't know what to write about. Everytime I think of something that i want to write it is always on the spur of that moment that I have something in my mind (which is usually when I am outside doing something else far away from my notebook). By the time I reach home, I just can't get myself to write anything on the blog anymore. Sometimes I ask myself: Is this what I really want to say? Or am I doing it for all the wrong reasons. Often times I find myself silenced by the realization that I don't really have anything to say(which is in many ways worrying). Maybe when I have something worth sharing, I will blog again. As for now, may there be learning and growing in silence.

For Him

Matthew 18:8 Wherefore if thy hand or thy foot offend thee, cut them off, and cast them from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life halt or maimed, rather than having two hands or two feet to be cast into everlasting fire.
Matthew 18:9 And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life with one eye, rather than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire.

If according to the scriptures, I should have found myself without hands or feet, I should have been blind, deaf, dumb... but the grace of God held back His wrath and blessed me with faculties that are to be for His glory and for Him alone...

If I can sing Let my songs be full of His Glory
If I can speak Let my words be full of His Grace
If I should live or die
Let me be found pursuing this prize
The One that alone satisfies
The Treasure of Jesus

-SCC

Come away with me

Just what I need: an invitation to a place of solace and peace.

Songs of Solomon 2: 10-13

My beloved spake, and said unto me,
Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away.
For, lo, the winter is past, the rain is over and gone;
The flowers appear on the earth; the time of the singing of birds is come, and the voice of the turtle is heard in our land;
The fig tree putteth forth her green figs, and the vines with the tender grape give a good smell. Arise, my love, my fair one, and come away.

Arise...... my love... my fair one...... Come away... with Me.

scribbling in the sand

Michael Card wrote a song about the scene John 8 where the angry mob prepared to stone an adulterous woman, and how the Lord Jesus responded in silence and bent down to write on the ground with His finger.

In the song he wrote: " the same finger of the strong hand that had written ten commmands, for now its simply scribbling in the sand." I often find myself in the place of the woman where I am eternally thankful that in spite of my sinful self, the Lord Jesus did not condemn me, but choose to forgive me. "The finger that wrote the ten commandments", speaks of the Lord's right position to condemn me of my sins. Yet He chose not to, because of love. Just as the way He chose not to stone the woman of her sins, but rather just scribbling in the sand.

I am so grateful for all the moments that the Lord Jesus bent down to scribble in the sand in my life, because it speaks of His mercy that I would never be worthy of. Even when others want to pick up the stone of condemnation to throw at me, the abundance of His grace overflows to reach out to me. Thank you!

another year...

January 4th, 2007 is officially the day I start my new year. Why? because its my BIRTHDAY!!! (applause... haha). Now with the very lame joke aside, I find that having reached the 23rd year of my life, many things have come and gone, many things have changed and there are so many lessons and experiences that I have gone through that at this point of my life, somewhere between the dreaming and the coming true... wait a minute that is Bebo norman's new cd, Hehe! Ok lame, but seriously I find myself at a point where there are so many decisions and so many possiblities and so many things happening around me. But when I went to bed last night, thinking that today would be my birthday, I asked myself one question: "With all that is has happened and that which will become of in the future, what is it that matters, now that it is my birthday?" Should I boast about my past and strive towards a better future? Or should I complain about my past and put no hope in the future? Then I was left in silence. I kept quiet to listen to what my heart really desires.

Finally I came to a conclusion: What matters is that for the past 23 years of my life, I have a family who loves and supports me all the way through. Moreover, I have a Father in heaven who watches over me and loves me even at my worst moments in life. What does that mean? It means on my birthday, I am reminded of how blessed I am, and how much I should be thankful for all that I already have. So thank you Pa and Ma for bringing me to this world and taking good care of me. Thank you Lord Jesus for giving this life meaning that I may have it more abundantly... Thank you!