Just as I am

    It's a fear that keeps me wide awake
    In the middle of the night
    When the expectations are too great
    And the bar gets raised too high
    So I do the best with what I've got
    And hope that no one knows
    That I strain to see how high I can
    Try to stand on these toes
    Until I'm measured, but You know better

    (Chorus)
    So, thank-You, Jesus
    Even when You see us just as we are
    Fragile and frail and so far
    From who we want to be
    So, thank-You, Jesus
    Even when the pieces are broken and small
    Dreams shatter and scatter like the wind
    Thank-You, even then

    So I put aside the masquerade
    And admit that I am not okay
    Which may not be the thing to say
    But I'm not ashamed to need You more each day

    (Chorus)

    We raise the standard and try to reach You
    But we'll never make it, and we don't need to

    - Nichole Nordeman -

"So I put aside the masquerade, And admit that I am not okay, Which may not be the thing to say..."

It is indeed not easy to admit our imperfections and failures, especially in a modern society where self-empowerment and portraying the "right image"is the "key" to success, and admitting to your flaws is just a sign of weakness.

I am thankful and glad that this is not the case when we stand before the Lord Jesus Christ. For the Lord Jesus may be the only person who will always love us. For He does not love us "because of," but that He love us "in spite of." And because of that, hurtful souls can enter a place of abundant peace and comfort when they turn to the Lord Jesus Christ.

So Thank you Lord Jesus, for loving me just as I am.

I was thinking...

"For ye know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that, though he was rich, yet for your sakes he became poor, that ye through his poverty might be rich." (2 Corinthians 8:9)

Whenever I read this verse, it never occurs to me that for Christ to become poor, the sacrifice was more than my mind could ever comprehend. As a brother once put it: "Even if you try to minus 1 billion from infinity, you will still get infinity." God is infinitely rich, yet He become poor for our sake. Mathematically speaking, it is impossible. But I guess that is precisely it, he made the impossible possible, for you and for me.

What I thought...

In reality...


How wonderful is the love of God the Father shown to us through Christ Jesus, his beloved Son.

Notice the similarities...

1) My Father's Heart
2) My Song is Love Unknown

I found it very interesting since I only realized the similarity between the two melodies when we were learning a few new hymns after fellowship dinner. When Cheryl started teaching the tune to the hymn "My Song is Love Unknown", I was like: "Wait a minute, this sounds very familiar..." And I was right, I did hear the tune before. It was the same tune from the song "My Father's Heart" sang by Rachel Lampa. The funny thing is I always thought that Rachel Lampa's version was the original, without knowing that the melody was actually borrowed from an old English hymn, which incidentally is one of Kok Keong's favorite hymn. I have always loved "My Father's Heart", but now that I have been introduced to this new beautiful hymn, I think it might just become one of my favorite hymns as well. ;)

who... made Himself of no reputation

Have you lost your reputation?
Are you trusting in the Lord?

Have you found a full salvation
from what people think and say?

Do you mean to live for Jesus,
let the World say what it may?

(excerpt from I Come quietly to met you -Amy
Carmichael)

The promise of the Lord Jesus in the gospel of John tells us that He came so that those who believe in Him might have life and have it abundantly... yet in the gospel of Luke we find the Lord Jesus presenting a more sobering fact that if anyone will come after Him, should deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow Him.

There is a cost to following the one who gives us life in its fullness, and pride and self glory has no part in it. If our Lord had people despising and rejecting him, I wonder how can we as his followers, strive on the praise and approval of the people in this world.

He allows me to hunger

I was reading some of Amy Carmichael's writings and I came upon this passage with the title "He allows me to hunger". It was a devotional on Psalms 63:1,5. It was one of those passages that carry such fundamental truths about God's dealings with us that we just need to be reminded of time after time.

It was a dialog between a father and a son. The son found himself in a barren place and wondered why he should at times feel so helpless and needy... thirsty. The Father in his great gentleness reveals to the son the reason for these unpleasant circumstances and assures his son that the Father will always be there to comfort, provide and protect.

If I may just quote two things the Father said:
- "I am the one who allowed you to come into this humbling circumstances and who allowed you to hunger. I did this so that I might feed you with manna -- My bread from heaven!"
- "Can someone who has never seen burning sands in the wilderness turn into a refreshing pool -- can he speak in praise of My marvels, or My power?"

Circumstances can change and pull us down; but the never changing Father who loves us remains faithful and builds us up. Times of hunger and thirst were never meant to make us suffer, it was meant to magnify God's greatness and remind us of the height of his goodness towards us. I am thankful... for he allows me to hunger.

Time Machine

I wish I had a time machine. I wish I could go back in time to those moments that mattered, go back to relive those memorable moments that was certain to make me smile. Or maybe just to be able to have a second change and change the mistakes of the past. But I guess life is like that, we all wish to have something magical that could do things that we can only dream of. Chris Rice would have wanted his magic wand; I would like to have my own time machine. However far fetched the idea may be, it all comes down to the human need for hope, for something better, something that allows us to cover up our flaws and make things better.

Why then did God not make time machines and magic wands a reality in this world? He could if he wanted to, but He didn’t. It sure would have made things better. Or would it? Maybe we are just missing the point. Instead of looking towards “something” to help us change our lives, we fail to see that “someone” is already waiting for us to turn towards him and depend on him. If only we would be willing to listen to His words and allow the spirit to guide us to making the right choices. Maybe then we would no longer have a need for a time machine or a magic wand, because we would finally be able to say that God has made all things well and that no time machine or any magic wand could have made it any better. So goodbye time machine, I have my Lord by my side and that will be just fine, thank you!